A fishy relationship

I'd seen him go in and out of that door several times and in vain I kept wondering what he was doing. Everyday I saw it and as the days went by, my curiousity kept increasing and now I had this enormous urge in me to find out what lay behind that door. Something was indeed very fishy! But what was that?

To my surprise, the next morning, he asked me to accompany him behind that door- that very door that'd kept me wondering all these days, ever since I'd come here. I was a little apprehensive but my curiousity had no bounds. I grabed this opportunity and ran behind him. I kept one foot in, looked up and I was amazed at what lay in front of me.

They were so inviting, I was truly speechless. Round red faces smiled at me, danced in front of me holding hands and spoke to me. Yes, indeed, what we call tomatoes, here in front of me came alive, I saw them live their life. Nothing has ever been so plesant before. I stared at them in awe, wonderment and many other mixed feelings that jammed in me.

I shifted my glare towards him and had the best possible questioning expression on my face. I was so sure he knew the million questions in my mind, then why was he so quiet, why didn't he say anything? I was about to open my mouth and begin uttering my words when he smiled reassuringly. His smile said it all, that none of my questions would go unanswered.

We began talking and I was touched by every single word he spoke. His journey with the bubbly red ones had begun six months ago. All the usual humanly things (work, family, health and other stressors) had taken a toll on him. It was then that he didn't know who to look onto, who to share his feelings with and with such a preoccupation he tumbled across an old bath tub. This useless piece of ceramic, gave him an idea, rather a fabulous idea!

He decided to grow TOMATOES in it, but he never picturized or realized that this idea would create such a beautiful bond. So the next day, he went and bought the seeds, soil and other neccessary things and sowed them in the white, old, shabby looking tub, which now looks fantastic! Days went by and he took care of them like his own children, watered them and nourished them with his love. With tenderness, care and concern they grew and no longer were they seeds; small reds balls appeared at different places in the tub. He saw them, they danced in front of him holding each others' hands among the green leaves. The joy he felt at that moment was incomparable to anything else. He spoke to them and they at times apart from always listening did seem to reply.

He would've loved to do anything for them, as now they were a big part of his life. They grew, even more red, even more jumpy and bubblier than before.

He smiled all along, when he was narrating this to me and said- " I've learnt to share my life with them, I no longer feel lonely. They are a source of my inspiration whenever I'm lost, my source of happiness when I'm low and indeed my true companions."

I had tears rolling down my cheeks. I was so touched at how a man ( whose other sorrow side was seen by me) had now changed , was so happy and was living his life to the fullest because of those cute little creatures.

I turned around, looked a them and smiled. I thanked them for being there for this man and having given him so much happiness.

I now know what he did behind the door everyday- played with his little friends and cherished his life!

At times, I sit with a pen in my hand and the blank sheet of paper in front of me, but nothing, nothing at all seems to strike. I want to write something (note the usage of the word something, because it says a lot), but in vain I sit there pondering and pondering without being able to drop any coloured ink on the paper in the form of some meaningful syllables, words and sentences.

At such times, I just go blank and wonder to myself... What do I write about, is a question hanging in the air, an answer to which I seem unlikely to find and it is at such times that I end up writing random stuff like this, which may or may not really make much sense but still does have some meaningful content in it.

I go about dropping the ink here and there without giving it much thought and finally I have a piece, a finished one. Its so funny, to even think of how I do this, because I like the fact that in spite of having said so much about not being able to think and write something even though I want to, I end up actually writing something I hadn't thought I would.

Seems quite complicated but in reality its actually very simple. So I continue to play with words like this and write and write and write...

Thoughts keep floating,
they keep pouring,
flooding my little head,
they keep moving,
with only commas in between them,
and no full-stops whatsoever!

Seasons

It was a sunny day, June had begun.
She was walking down the street,
Wishing her heart's desire come true,
hoping her wishes be fulfilled.

She walked ahead, and to her surprise,
she saw a new lane at the turn on the street.
She had time, she wanted to explore,
she went, walking down this lane.

Her journey of joy began,
all that was lost was being regained.
The sparkle in her eye said it all,
She after all, now had an added spark to her life!

It was raining, August had begun.
I saw her dancing and laughing,
wondering to myself...
what it was, that she found in that lane!

Dancing in the rain,
she slipped and fell,
But he helped her
and she was overjoyed.

That was the first time I saw him,
with concern in his eys
and love in his actions;
I knew the flowers would now blossom.

It was a pleasant day, October had begun.
She seemed happier than ever;
He had a glow on his face;
The air smelt of joy.

Buds began to bloom,
the flowers looked beautiful,
but I was scared-
because soon the petals would droop.

I saw them everyday,
the glint in their eyes gave me happiness.
Engrossed in each other,
their lives now had a new meaning.

It was a freezing day, December had begun,
She was shivering in the cold,
he held her tight, keeping her warm.
Oh! It was such a bliss to look at them!

"Made for each other," "A perfect couple!"-
is all everyone said.
It was destiny that brought them together
and their love was now evident to all!

Her wishes did come true,
she found someone who valued her!
Seasons change, life changes
But true love lasts till the end!

Dated: 26.09.2008

Losing it!

It is so much fun to behave away from normal,
a little difference and you can lose it.
Making a fool of myself,
at times gives so much pleasure,
why should I be perfect?
why should everything be in place?

Insanity is so much better,
going away from the cliched human being,
the best thing ever,
a feeling of euphoria,
no limitations, no boundaries,
an acceptance of my being!

Being a baboon is the best,
acting and behaving
on the spur of the moment,
something without planning,
surprise is the added factor,
Life this way is great!

Losen it, become insane,
go with the flow,
nothing will then hurt,
everything will be great!

Unfolding the Unknown

Those were the days then
these are the days now.
Time changes, people change,
things change, relationships change!

Falling in love and being committed,
is more like a social need now,
unlike a desire of the heart,
something that added a spark!

Separation- considered a taboo,
is a good positive choice now.
It's better to end a relationship,
when it does no good!

Who says a man can marry only a woman,
a wrong myth of a long gone era.
A woman can fall in love with another,
a man can marry a man!

You like him, you love him,
you live with him, you marry him!
This is the trend, the best choice
that reduces the chances of wrong goings.

Sharing feelings, thoughts and emotions,
not a very difficult task anymore.
Talking to parents about 'things'
is just like any other conversation with a friend!

In this modern day world,
a time when there is a battle of brains,
life seems much more complicated,
emotional bonds have taken a step backward.

Were those the beautiful days?
Or are these the wonderful days?
An open question...with no right or wrong,
the answer depends on our thinking!

Dated: 06.01.2009
For Psychology Department Magazine.

Small Treasures

Nothing spectacular, in fact, yet another ordinary, usual, monotonous day is begining to end, but still, something about it is different. Maybe my perception, can't really say though!
Small things matter so much, that their value is realized only in their surprising presence or a sudden absence. Thats why it is said, 'you miss someone more when you know they are not around you.' So true...
For instance, I never really liked rosogullas but today I enjoy this very feeling of opening the frigde and putting a thanda thanda rosogulla in my mouth and relishing every bite I take. This is such a good feeling and it makes me so happy, this happy I haven't felt in ages now.
Small things like a visit to a nice stationary shop! Just looking at the things there, picking up one or two among them, or just glaring at the amazing sight can make me so happy.
Baking for that matter, it is always a great pleasure. Preparing, baking, cleaning the mess and finally seeing your achievement in the form of the nice looking cakes, cookies, small cute cup- cakes, just about makes me so happy that I can be high on life through out that day!
Drawing, painting and writing all wonderful mediums of expression lend me this feeling of satisfaction and of having vented out everything. A good finished piece can bring a huge smile of contentment.
Playing with my brother, chatting with my mom , dad, my masi and a few friends can all be so relieving. The fact that there is someone who I can look onto is so satisfying. It makes me very happy!
Doing small such things for myself, like even buying a flower just to say that I'm worth it, makes me happy. I might sound self-obsessed, but it is important to make ourselves happy afterall when one knows that not many around us'll do it.
Going shopping with mom, once in a while when its just for small things like bangles renders a feeling that is so special.

So many such small things that lend me strength and support to get past each day, go ignored, because they're always taken granted for.
Today, I wanted to take a moment off and appreciate the existence of these small treasures without which life would be so incomplete!

A Sigh of Relief

Today I feel lighter, having cleared a big chunk of clutter from my life.

Life now feels like a feather, all ready to fly with the wind in the direction of its course.

I hadn't know the impact of this clutter until today, when finally I've gotten rid of it!

A burden has been lifted off me, I can now breathe!

A great feeling altogether- lighter, clearer, cleaner and bouncier than before!

Vacuum has done good to me, space will now let me think freely!

The Furry Brown Doormat

Ouch! It hurts!
Ouch! It hurts!
I cry out aloud,
But no one to lend an ear,
Not even the cloud!

Oh… It’s freezing during winter,
I’m drenched in the rain,
It’s so warm and sticky in the summer,
But I still lie here,
No one to pick me,
Just left lying out there!

Ah… Those pointed heels,
Those painful shoes,
Everyone stamps over me,
Me- The Furry Brown Doormat,
Thrown on the floor… see me!?

Yes, the Doormat,
People walk over me,
Take me for granted,
Not thinking once what I go through,
Just leaving me out
To suffer in the blue!

Who am I?
After all, just a silly doormat!
Let the world walk over me,
I still will smile and stay here
As this silly doormat is the best I can be!

Let me not judge myself
By how the world treats me.
I know what I am,
And what I can be!

But after all this is my life,
Filled with pains and sorrows,
Still I manage to laugh,
Still I manage to smile,
because somewhere, sometime,
Something great will be mine!

Dated: 03.09.2007

Illusion

As I sat by the window,
I saw a swaying shadow.
A huge dark cloud,
Something to laugh about.

A moment of doubt,
I don’t know what the fuss was all about!
Was it a ghost or the trees?
Shivering in the cool breeze!

I stood up to walk around,
and heard this great sound.
As I tottered and tottered,
I noticed it was just a pail of water!

Dated: 15.09.08

A Wish

At times you sit wondering... going into this phase of introspection where so many thoughts dawn and as you go deeper and deeper a lot of realizations take place.
A wish....
I wish changes in this world weren't too fast;
so fast that they become difficult to deal with.
I wish people gave importance to each other;
as much as they give themselves now.
I wish relationships were more of commitment,
than of convenience like they are now.
I wish time was better valued, rather than
being used as an excuse for not being there for someone.
I wish emotions like love were genuine,
and not masked like they are today.

I wonder.. if it is the fast paced life people choose to live or the strings that come attached with "the modern day" that have led to all this, but I really wish my wish!

Crazy Fun

This is a dedication to a few of my special friends, with whom I have some great memories. So it surely will sound familiar only to you guys!

I aimed my catapult, and straight it went to hit him,
just then I heard a noise, and then the lights went dim.
He knew it was I who hit him,
in his eyes I saw a painful glint.
Was he going to be mad or upset?
No,rather, a smile on his face I met!

Dancing on the road in the rain,
I loved doing.
Taking a turn at the end of the lane,
I heard the cow mooing!
Singing every song aloud,
I wished I was heard by every cloud!

We came up with an idea, the 6 of us,
off we went to Wonder La in a bus.
Maverick, Columbus, Insanity and Mixer
everything churned the liquids like a juicer.
We had a blast, it was fun,
at the end of which we all were tun!

*Chun* *Chun*, the glasses went,
*Cheers* *Cheers*, is all I heard!
She now said all that she always meant,
something that no one ever dreamt, not even a bird.
All this was truly very revealing,
leaving us in a fix about its dealing.

Those weirdly funny faces I made,
Standing under a tree in its shade.
Least did I know that my actions were being captured,
later on I laugh seeing myself raptured.
I was a talented actor, I always knew,
I thought to myself looking at the morning dew.

Those endless days of joy.
Those endless days of craze.
Those times pretentious of coy,
that always left everyone in daze.
I treasure these precious moments, who doesn't?
I relive them time and time, who says one musn't?

Dated: 07.10.2008

Doyel- this is all yours!

Ugh! Pugh!
You are a slug,
in a big mug-
upon the jug,
lying on the rug!
But when i dug,
you gave me a tug,
which ended up in a hug!

A new day!

I awoke this morning to the beautiful sunrise marking the begining of a new day; still with unresolved feelings of yesterday. The feeling of having lost something precious, my own, something I truly placed close to my heart. Life'd gone his way, leaving me with this huge burden, with these unattended feelings.

As the day unfolded itself, these feelings became even more intense, second by second. Having to deal with them was hard, and I was left with nothing to say.

I now lay here, with a new feeling altogether; as the day begins to end in the darkness of this night. The feeling of satisfaction and contentment; of having found my lost thing. Life came back and I feel like a child who found the lost toy or fixed a broken one.

Happiness can be sought in different ways, mine is a teeny weeny way but the amount of joy it gave me is hundred times more. I now realize how I'd stopped appreciating these small things of my life which are indeed very important.

Cheers to each day as it comes... yet another day will unfurl...