An ode to my Nanu

Every time I saw you,
I felt endless joy and bliss.
Every time you held me in your embrace,
I felt eternal peace.

In pain you smiled, in sorrow you smiled,
There was nothing that could wipe that smile off your face.
You taught me how to live my life
Amongst all the mess that came my way.

I saw love in you and felt joy,
I saw kindness and felt peace
I saw warmth and felt comfort;
I saw gentleness and felt strength.

You’ve taught me how to go on,
Smile and make the most even of those struggles
That came my way.
You taught me how to be strong,
To spread joy and happiness
amongst everyone around me.

My values, my beliefs,
Everything that shapes me,
Is all instilled by you,
Is all I’ve learnt watching you.

Your humour, your jokes,
Your pranks, your endless bets,
Your talks, your wisdom,
Your actions, your knowledge
Something that has made me what I am today,
And now will all be a memory and always cherished.

Your sixth sense was amazing, and
It was always fun to have you know it all
Before it actually happened,
You indeed were my lucky charm.

I wish I could see you for that one last time,
I wish I could give you a hug and tell you
How much I love you before you went.
I’ll always miss you.

You were my hero and now
It’s difficult to not have you
To discuss my fears, my endless wishes
To seek your advice and those simple solutions you gave.

Nevertheless, you’ve left your reflection
In three other men in my life,
And yes now I look onto them
And they’re my junior heroes.
I don’t need to tell them who they are,
You can hear me and you know it’s you.

Your physically not here I know,
But you’re in our hearts and
Whenever we need you we’ll just
See you in Nani.

You were, are and will always remain the greatest man I’ve ever know in my life.

Dissociation from reality

Do I know you from somewhere?
You do look familiar.
Are you sure we haven’t met before?
Now this is a situation I need to explore.

What time of the year is it?
It is January 2011 they say, but
I’m stuck in 2006 or sometimes 2009, or
At times I jump ahead into 2012.

Are you talking to me?
Oh, I know you’re right in front of me,
And I can hear you bicker some words, but
I possess an ability to tune out the world.

Am I really seeing this?
Or no, it’s just my perception.
Some things lie in front of me, and
They are not what they look like for me.

Who am I?
I wonder...
I just want to be myself
Don’t know how to be someone else.

Living in a war zone,
battered and confused.
Wish I din’t have to stay like this,
always feeling so bruised.

If there’s a third world I must be in the second,
seems I’m neither here nor there.
Living on the stairs that’s neither up nor down
Sometimes wondering how long I will be around.