Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Lost Tears in Lonely Oceans

Huge as it may sound, were those vast oceans. Rippling water, it's blueness, the waves, all so lost in this emptiness of life. These huge gaps in my life, who is to fill them now? Lonely as it was, my life seemed to have lost all meaning. I never felt this clueless before, this lost and helpless. Tears roll down my cheeks even as I think about it. Every action and every word that hurt me, all go without an apology. Never once did I think I'd be seeing such a day in my life.

Was she always right when she warned me about such situations, I think to myself. I'm forced to believe that she was because it is now happening to me, the cracks and the patches, can never be mended.

Trust in you I've lost, I wouldn't be wrong when I say, a part of my life, a part of my existence is lost. The barren lands that lay in front of me, devoid of the long lost joy and glee of life, and are not very inviting. I'm afraid, I'm scared, of every move I make, every step I take. Going forward is the only option now but the thought of this destitute land kills me.

I cry, even more now, and then I laugh at this situation. Don't really know what to do. I'm feeling at a loss of words also and I've lost my intuitive ability to look ahead and think of what I might encounter now. As it is, there have been millions of shocking surprises I've already witnessed in this past month.

But now when I think of it, I realize that as days go by, I'm becoming stronger and much more immune to a lot of conditions, being ready for the worse to come. These lonely oceans have swallowed my tears and now have given me the courage to face that barren land ahead.

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